Blog post


I’m talking to myself as much as I’m talking to you here with this title.

And I’m going to start with this thought…


Yesterday was a rough one.  Like the last 6 months of just pushing forward through all the struggle and pain of life, work, relationships, health scares, missed opportunities and falling short of goals and dreams came crashing down on me like a tidal wave.  Both literally and figuratively.

It’s so stupid that one little (pretty insignificant) thing in the grand scheme of things could completely send me into a tizzy.

First I got mad, then I was hurt, and then came the tears.  I cried through my grimaced face, fighting it and defending my feelings, pushing it all further down trying to regain control and then, IT happened….

I broke down.  I mean complete break down sobbing on the floor.  So yeah, I seriously looked like a drowned rat hence the tidal wave analogy.

Everything that has been plaguing me for the last 6 months surfaced from deep within and it wasn’t pretty.

You can see it now… total ugly cry.  Mascara down my cheeks, lip curled, body rocking back and forth, pulling my hair while in the fetal position.

OH man….  I can’t stand when that happens.  It feels like I am the weakest human on the planet.  And when I’m in that moment, I believe that I truly am.  I tell myself how worthless I am and how I’ll never amount to anything and how everyone would be better off without me dragging them down and then I plan my escape.

Yup… I know… I’m freaking ridiculous.

How can I have such a beautiful life (that I’ve built) and feel so ungrateful?  And not see how priceless I am?

I’ll tell ya’ exactly how….

Because I was focusing on all the wrong things.

Did you know that it is IMPOSSIBLE to simultaneously be grateful and mad at the same time?

Try it.  It’s fact.

True power and happiness lies in our human ability to not just merely go through life but GROW through life.  And gratitude is at the base of that.  Think about it as the soil that enriches your soul.

A few gratitude quotes that helps keep perspective:

  • Never let the things you want make you forget the things you have.
  • In order to love who you are, you cannot hate the experiences that shaped you. 
  • Gratitude makes everything we have and all that we are enough and allows for even more greatness to come into our lives.
  • To be great, be grateful. 
  • Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed.  Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace and gratitude. 
  • Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates vision for tomorrow.
  • Some people grumble that roses have thorns.  I am grateful that thorns have roses. 
  • The way to move out of judgement is to move into gratitude.

What I want you take from this most, is one must do the daily work to create the happiness desired.  It doesn’t just happen because we hope and wish it to.

You ask how I know this?

Because two things:

  1.  I am educated in this – as a certified life coach, personal behavior studies are my jam.
  2. My own experiences prove it true.  I mean, I WROTE A FREAKING BOOK ABOUT IT FOR GOODNESS SAKE! (you can check it out HERE if you haven’t already)

SO now you’re like, “well then why the heck did YOU have a breakdown, Jessie?”

Because, I’m HUMAN!  And that means just because I know something to be true, I often have to test theories or learn from my own experiences.

And I am seeing this momentary lapse of falling in to old habits and allowing them to control me as an opportunity to learn and grow and not let my daily gratitude practice slip from my sights again.  But the truth is, it will most likely happen again because it takes more work to focus on the positive in life than the negative.  It is harder to change than to stay the same even when the same old hurts.

And that’s exactly why yesterday when it all became too much to bear, I simply QUIT!

I knew that I needed the rest of the day to be mad and sad and to not have to muster up the extra strength to put on a happy face and fake it.

I QUIT…. for the rest of the day and night.

And then…

(Remember what I titled this blog post?  You can quit today but you can’t quit tomorrow!)

So, I got up this morning (5am), shook off the crap of yesterday and started again.  I put on my headphones, worked out, meditated, journaled and now, I am writing this blog.  It’s 6:30am.  Kids will be up at 7.   And hot damn I feel good.

How can I go from utter despair yesterday to “watch out world, Jessie’s coming for ya!” in less than 12 hours?

I’ll tell ya how…

Because again, I’m freaking HUMAN!  And we, as humans are resilient as all heck!

Being human means we can lift ourselves up just as much as we can tear ourselves down.

We just have to CHOOSE joy over hate, choose gratitude over complaint, and most importantly… choose to become better today than you were yesterday.

Because a life lived by choice renders you limitless and leads to a life more in tune with your dreams.

Isn’t that what we all want?… To live a life by our design full of happiness and health.

If you don’t, you should.  And you should also MAN (or woman) UP and stop making excuses and take conscious control of all you can change.

Forgive, let go of comparison and judgement, laugh, love, try new things, be always moving forward into uncertainty for that is where true growth and happiness happen.

This doesn’t mean you won’t ever feel sadness, despair, struggle or pain.  It means you will know how to combat it, how to rise above it and how to use it to create more of what you truly want.

So remember, you are human… you can quit today but you can’t quit tomorrow.


I’m rooting for you dear friend!





By jessie_bouton

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